I'd Rather Be Working
Everyone knows that I'm a workaholic. Since my return from Europe I've spent hours upon hours working. Which, for most is normal, but seeing as I have two months off of work every summer, I could definitely be doing a lot less. No matter how much work I do, I have this annoying habit of always telling myself "you could have done more," which makes intentional time off both a necessity and a chore. This summer, though, I've been in overdrive with school just around the corner, and have been trying to suppress the stress of a massive writing deadline this fall (yikes!).
I am so excited to completely overhaul most of my school curriculum. I'm really happy with how my first two years of teaching went, but I also constantly felt the "first year-ness" of most of my content even at the end of last semester. I could tell that most of what I was teaching came out of frantic late night lesson planning. Surprisingly, a lot of it's good (everyone also knows I'm not humble), but I know I can do so much better.
I had a really tough time last semester with student pushback. I felt like I wasn't doing my best, and the fact that I could feel that and yet wasn't changing much really affected my work. I knew that this summer had to be a summer of change if I was going to be at all happy this coming school year. So for the past three weeks I've been totally immersed in getting werk DONE.
It's also not all about me. I'm excited to get back to teaching my students the things that I need them to learn. Not only content, but also the deeper lessons that help shape them as healthy, educated adults. I'm digging deeper than ever into the content I'm bringing them, and from it I hope to show them that there is more to the world than what they currently see. I want to help them understand that their world view is only beginning to form, and that the challenges ahead can be overcome through educating themselves (I HAVE BIG GOALS, OKAY).
I've never kept it a secret that I don't know how long I'll be teaching. But what I do know is this: this is the most excited I've ever been to go back to work. And I really value that excitement because I know far too many people who just work to make money, which is obviously a need, but it's never been the sole driving factor for me. I've never entertained the thoughts of certain jobs just because they pay more than what I do now. I think that excitement about your work is really the only way that you can find fulfillment in it.