IT'S ALL WORTH IT
This week was HARD. It was meeting after meeting, practice after practice, lesson after lesson. I don't know what it was about this week, but it was crazy for everyone I work with. It's weeks like these make it crucial to take time to clarify why it is you do what you do. If you don't define the purpose for why you do what you do, you will drown in the question every time it arises, and eventually it will consume you.
Defining why you do what you do acts as an anchor when the weather gets rough. It's much easier to keep pushing forward if you're doing it for a purpose, not just because it's what you've always done. Obviously, teaching isn't what I've always done, being only two and a half years into the profession. But I DO know why I do this, and it gets me through weeks like this one. I DO know why I write, and it gets me through the weeks when I really don't want to. I DO know why I invest in relationships and my mental and physical health, and it gets me through the days when I just want to shut everything out and binge Friends.
One thing I've learned about being an adult, especially an *~involved~* adult, is that there is no time to be doing things I have no reason to do. If a commitment doesn't fulfill or satisfy something positive for myself or others, I've probably already cut it out of my life by now. If I just don't have the time to fully commit to something, I've learned to turn it down. And with that comes the responsibility to clarify why you don't do certain things. That's just as important, because the thought "I can balance one more thing" is usually just my anxiety telling me that I'm not doing enough, when really I have so many plates spinning I could use them to feed my entire school.
The thought of letting go of something that is currently causing me stress is unimaginable. I know that I'm doing the right things, however time consuming and exhausting, because I've taken the time to define their importance in my life. Even if they cause me to put off work until 10pm, or they consume a Sunday afternoon, I know they're worth it, and I wouldn't have it any other way.